Wednesday, September 17, 2025

Passing Me By...

I received an email advert for the new D+D adventure, and figured I'd clicky click and see what the new game was all about. I immediately met this picture on the other side of my teleportation across the Internet...

I assume that someone (or rather lots of someones) somewhere look at this and say 'heck yeah - that is the game I want to PLAY'. I look at this and go 'oh. So that's what D+D is now. Ugh'...

Because if my character gets married to a blue fay creature, I guess that would be okay. But I don't want that to be the, you know, POINT of the adventure. And, I mean, I guess the dragon is kind of cute and all, but I don't want to PET a dragon. I kinda want to fight one and take its stuff. And, like, there is nothing inherently wrong with being in a wheelchair, but if I'm in a wheelchair in the real world, I don't think I'd want to be in one in my fantasy world, too. As someone who has struggled with cancer for over a decade, the LAST thing I'm EVER doing is giving my character a terminal illness on purpose - I role play that enough.

I mean, getting married and petting a cute animal and being in a wheelchair are, I don't know, things I can sort of do in the real world. I don't need to do these in a fantasy game. I have always been under the strange delusion that I play a fantasy game to do something I CAN'T do in the real world. 

I was almost considering dropping $15 just to see what the new game was about, but (for the first time in my experience), the art actually sold me OFF of a product purchase - not because it's bad art, but because it depicts a world I have no interest in playing in. If the Keep on the Borderlands has handicapped parking spots and non-binary bathrooms, I have no interest in adventuring there. It should have cramped over-priced rooms at the top of rickety stairs with a bucket you can piss in next to a mattress crawling with vermin.

I wish the newest iteration of D+D the best of luck, I won't be along for the ride.

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