My Shoes

About two and a half years ago, I bought a pair of shoes for work. I usually maintain three pairs of shoes - a pair of sneakers for weekends, a pair of black dress shoes for whenever I have to dress of up, and these - my go-to work shoes that I used to wear almost every day. In September of 2024, I realized that these shoes were starting to wear down - they were about a year old at that point, and they were starting to fade. However, I decided that I could probably get to Christmas with them, so I waited on replacing them.

Then I got sick. A doctor gave me a letter that said I had six to twelve months to live. My priorities shifted. I had to 'get my affairs in order'. I had debts to resolve. Bank accounts to organize. A will to revise.

I looked at these shoes and decided that they were sufficient. They would see me through to the end.

I no longer needed these shoes for work. I was 'permanently disabled'. I still pulled these shoes out from time to time. I wore them to the doctor's office when he told Mary and me that the many rounds of chemotherapy and immunotherapy had not helped; my tumors continued to grow. He explained that he had 'nothing more he could do', but suggested we consider a 'second opinion'. 

I wore the shoes again when we drove to Pittsburgh. To our surprise, the doctors had a plan. Lutathera; a nuclear treatment designed for pancreatic cancer, but which may also attack my tumors since they shared many characteristics.

Four trips to Pittsburgh. Four treatments. Eight months. Same shoes. Because why get new ones, right?

But, because of God's grace and mercy, the treatments have worked. My small tumors have been destroyed. Larger tumors made smaller. 

I decided I felt healthy enough to substitute teach a few days a week. I looked at the shoes and decided they'd get me through that. They could substitute teach one or two days a week. I was still 'permanently disabled', right?

But my most recent visit was the most optimistic. Out of my team of doctors, my local oncologist was the most positive. He was effusive in his hope for my future. We have options - either more treatments of Lutathera to destroy the tumors further, or other treatments that are likely to prevent further growth and stablize tumors where they are. I will have cancer for the rest of my life. I don't know what that is, but it's no longer 6-12 months. My affairs are in order as much as they need to be. I don't feel permanently disabled.

This morning, I saw a listing for my dream job. If you could write up a perfect role for me, this is it. It would allow me to leverage everything - my education, my passions, my experiences, my hobbies. All of it comes together in this one job. 

I sent in a cover letter and my resume.

I think it's time to buy a new pair of shoes. I'm going to need them.

A Health Update

 Thought I would share a health update with all y'all...

After about ten rounds of chemo, at least fifteen rounds of Keytruda, and four rounds of a nuclear treatment, my most recent scans show that the nuclear treatment, Lutathera, has actually stopped the tumors from growing on my spine, ribs and pelvis, and may in fact be shrinking them. We're working on getting another round of Lutathera to see if we can make more progress, but the fact is that they have stopped my cancer from growing. My original prognosis was that I wouldn't be here today, but I've actually started to substitute teach a few days a week when I'm feeling up to it, and I have some hope for hanging around a few more years. Thanks again for all of the prayers and support that you've sent my way, and for the support you've all given Mary and Grace as well. We truly appreciate it.

Shout Out

I'll be posting a bigger update soon, but I wanted to give a shout out to Christopher Cortright and his supplement Five Foes for Stalwart '85. As a publisher, I'm not able to review or rate it (at least, I think that's why), but I'd gladly give it five stars if I could. Chris did a nice job with this, and I hope you support him.

Thanks!

Stalwart Phile #7

Stalwart Phile #7 is now posted. It started at 5 pages, then grew to 7, then to 9, and today I decided to add one more character that came to me in the middle of the night. I'd still like to knock out a Christmas-themed Stalwart Phile in the next three days, so we'll see if I can crush that. I have ideas for it, it's just a matter of putting it all together.

Happy Holidays to all if I don't get a chance to update again this week!

Power Creep and 1985

I'm working on Stalwart Phile #7, which is dedicated to technology and gear. I'm formalizing some bits about trick weapons and utility belts, and providing an alternate system for battle suit generation... I'm also creating a specific list of gifts that would be just for generating battle suits, and wanted to make sure I left no stone unturned. Therefore, I decided to check out the abilities of Iron Man's armor, and see what he can do (in current comics), to see if there was anything worth adapting. 

And... wow. The question isn't what can Iron Man do, it's what CAN'T he do? He has as much magnetic control as Magneto did in 1985. And he has as much strength as Hulk did in 1985. Maybe more. I mean, he's basically got everyone's powers from all of 1985 in one suit. I don't read any current comics, but I see this in online debates in the superhero groups on FB... can Flash beat Superboy Prime? Well, Flash can move faster than thought and can travel the Multiverse in a few seconds, but Superboy Prime can lift the entire universe and is strong enough to bend reality to his will, so it's a tough match.

I mean, really? Is this what we've come to? Thank goodness I don't read current comics. That's just stupid.

And it is impossible for gaming. I mean, you're trying to put Captain America on the same sort of scale with someone who can reshape the multiverse to his will in a heartbeat, and somehow they are on the same team? I'm glad that I set the game in 1985, because power creep was only beginning to set in. Back then, 100 tons was a LOT of weight to pick up. The heavy hitters like Thing and Colossus could lift about 70-80 tons. Now, Solomon Grundy can lift "200 quintillion tons". 1 quintillion has 18 zeroes. Mm-kay.

Plus, I just Googled this - Spiderman once held up the Daily Bugle. Um. I remember when Gladiator picked up the entire Baxter Building, and it was one of the greatest feats of strength that the world had ever seen. Now Spiderman can do that. Yeah. No. Sorry.

Anyhow, back to game design. I just needed this reminder that Stalwart '85 is set in 1985, which means that the power scaling is also set in 1985 (and specifically Marvel Universe 1985, because DC had already given itself over to ridiculous power creep, which was part of the reason for Crisis on Infinite Earths - to scale Superman back a bit, and to make him the upper benchmark going forward - that didn't last very long). Good for me, it's 1985 forever.

First of all, Stalwart Phile #6 is now available for download, so you might want to head over to DrivethruRPG and check that out...

In other news, my good friend Rob came over last night, and we had a grand time playing HeroQuest. It was my first experience with the game, and I really enjoyed it. It made me hanker for some solid solo play rules for Stalwart '85, but as I started to think about that, I immediately ran into the old bugaboo of supers RPG adventure design - the wide variety of powers that characters could have immediately puts up barriers towards concrete design. In a fantasy game, the heroes can ignore the trap, disarm the trap with a thief, or use magic to foil the trap; in a supers game, there are dozens of ways the trap could be foiled or even exploited, and a GM needs to be present to adjudicate the creative use of a power. HeroQuest always presented me with two or three viable choices in each situation, but it was only two or three - I could quickly sort through my options and pick one from a limited menu. Supers gaming theoretically blows that menu up and gives you an infinite number of options depending on your power set. Rob and I talked about cards, and maybe having a series of event cards to guide you through the adventure, but even there a supers game is wider in scope and scale than dungeon crawling; dungeons by their nature are limited environments with limited choices. 

It's something I'll puzzle over more, but it was great to sit with a friend for a few hours and roll some dice.

Aldo's Character Building Walkthrough

Aldo did a fantastic job of walking us through character building for Stalwart '85. I really appreciate the time he took to make and post this. It's really helpful, if you've had trouble wrapping your head around how character creation works.

Thanks, Aldo!