Some Work of Noble Note May Yet Be Done

My oh MY but it's been a few months... I thought I'd give a personal update, and then hopefully get back into some gaming stuff sooner than later.

I last checked in some time around April... since then, we've learned that the chemotherapy treatments I was receiving (even after they adjusted to a more aggressive chemo treatment) seemed to be having little effect; the tumors on my spine, pelvis, and ribs have continued to grow, with new tumors appearing in the last few months. Treatments may have been slowing it down a little, but not much. My doctors at Roswell suggested I get a second opinion, and after Mary (who has been a super hero) called around, we ended up meeting with a specialist in Pittsburgh, who decided to move from chemo to a newer nuclear medicine called Lutothera. The problem was that it's a more expensive treatment, and our insurance company REALLY didn't want to pay for it. Fortunately, the doctors in Pittsburgh are tenacious, and at the end of June I got approval for the treatment. I received my first treatment on August 1, and tolerated it well enough. Initial scans showed that the nuclear medicine went right to the tumors, and seemed to be getting to work. The idea here is that the nuclear medicine should be able to destroy the tumors, so I am also on a regimen of meds that are supposed to re-grow the bone, because the tumors are going to leave weak points in my bones, leaving me susceptible to fractures. So, I am taking it relatively easy, walking at least 15 minutes a day, and feeling some genuine hope for the first time in months. There is a very real possibility that my prognosis has changed from months to years to live. We'll see. I will receive three more treatments of the Lutathera, once every 60 days. I should receive my final treatment on February 1st. and we'll do a scan shortly thereafter to see how effective this has been. I'm hoping for 'very'.

Unfortunately, at the same time Mary's mom had a recurrence of her own cancer, and it ended up taking her life at the end of June (on Grace's birthday, and the day before Mary's birthday...). So, while Mary has been battling to get me treatments, she has also had to bury her own mom. She's been through a LOT. 

Far less importantly, but not insignificantly, I've gone through the process of retiring due to illness, and have had to navigate that whole process about seven years earlier than I expected to... 24 years is a pretty good run, but I had wanted to get to thirty. I'm proud of my career and what I've accomplished, but it's also difficult to say goodbye to a huge part of my life when it hasn't been on my own terms. Our teacher's union hosted a wonderful retirment party for all of the retirees, but it felt like they spent a lot of the evening focused on me, which was a bit overwhelming. 

Yesterday, Mary sorted the last of the things that she had received from her mom, we finished re-organizing our closets, and I was notified that my retirement paperwork is completed, and 'the check is in the mail' for my retirement benefits. My principal and vice principal also stopped by and brought me a retirement gift that they had for me - it was genuinely nice to see them. It felt like the end of many things.

This morning, I woke up feeling like I'd turned a significant corner. As Mary and Grace begin the ritual of gearing up for the school year, I am sitting here sipping my coffee and thinking about the world to come. I contemplate the final verses of Tennyson's "Ulysses"...

Death closes all: but something ere the end,

Some work of noble note, may yet be done,

Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.

The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:

The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep

Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,

'T is not too late to seek a newer world.

Push off, and sitting well in order smite

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths

Of all the western stars, until I die.

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.