1. Those local kids are so patriotic.
And cute! Those miniature AR-15s were adorable!
2. Now to national news. An unmanned space mission went awry today.
Apparently, the flight controller saw a problem, but here’s what happened, in the flight controller’s own words…
3. I wanted to say abort, but I didn’t know if I could say that anymore. You know. Cuz of gay.
4. Turns out he was allowed to say abort, but will now face misdemeanor charges for the other word.