My original idea was that the final panel would be a silent image. As I post this, I'm still not sure going with the 'for the mound' bubble was necessary. This may be the dynamic of publishing a longer story vs. publishing in serialized form for the webcomic creeping in... I would probably leave that image blank if this was going to be only in a larger book, but since it's going to see life on the webcomic exclusively for the next year or so, and I cannot be sure how recently someone read several pages back when they established their mission objective, I feel like a reminder is in order.
My critique; The "captain's" dialogue is perfect. The "medic's" dialogue should only be the first one. His second dialogue should actually be "captain's" as he trails off into death leaving the "medic" with the sidearm and the mission. So I would change the last panel thus; background image of the mound stays the same, the "captain" is prone, all we see is the top of his head while he hands off the sidearm to the "medic". The tall mound in the background gives the visual sense of the monumental task which the "medic" has just inherited.
ReplyDeleteI also mean the "medic's" dialogue in the second panel; "But our gear..." should be eliminated. don't make this a crappy TSR module explainen' every little detail, know one cares. Move the narrative.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jay!
ReplyDelete